Bringing Cess-y Back

For a long time, the fact pond has been little more than a muddy puddle.

BUT HERE COMES A THUNDERSTORM.

Picture, if you will, a common train track. You've got the tracks themselves; those marvellous wooden sleepers in between the tracks; and of course, the loveable rogue that is the ballast or gravel, snugly filling the gaps and spilling onto the ballast shoulder, either side.

But that bit just beyond the ballast shoulder - the bare earth section where workers stand when a train rattles past - what's that called?

It's called a CESS. That's right. A cess. "Stand on the cess, Cyril, here comes the train." That's what a railwayman might say to his pal, as the 10:07 to Totteridge and Whetstone hoves into view.

I have enjoyed a number of romantic liaisons with total strangers in train toilets, after imparting this fact to them. Try it!